When it comes to dating and relationships, there are a lot of different books and programs out there that claim to have all the answers. So how do you know which ones are actually worth your time? Today, we’re taking a closer look at His Secret Obsession by James Bauer to see if it’s really worth your time and money.
What is His Secret Obsession?
His Secret Obsession is a program that claims to be able to teach women how to find and keep the man of their dreams. The program is based on the idea of the “hero instinct,” which is the innate desire that men have to be heroes and protect the women they love.
According to James Bauer, understanding this hero instinct is the key to having a successful relationship with a man. He argues that when a woman can tap into this instinct, she can unlock a man’s deepest desires and make him want to be with her forever.
Sounds pretty good so far, right? Let’s take a closer look at some of the specific claims made by James Bauer in His Secret Obsession to see if they hold up.
Check out the official His Secret Obsession website here
How Does It Work?
The guide is designed to help women understand the secret psychological triggers that make men fall in love. It also provides advice on how to use these triggers to create a deeper connection with your man.
Who is James Bauer?
James Bauer is a bestselling author and last year I read another of his previous books, What Men Secretly Want (which is a great book in itself).
He got his start as a trained psychologist. By learning the intricacies of male and female brains and how they differ, Bauer became a relationship coach. Over the past 12 years, he has worked with thousands of men and women to help them strengthen their relationships.
By carefully studying their case, James Bauer discovered what he believes to be the secret to developing a satisfying, long-term relationship. He distilled all of this knowledge into this book, His Secret Obsession.
Although I know James Bauer very well, I haven’t found any good sources of information on His Secret Obsession. All I knew was that it was getting a lot of hype and was supposed to tap into male psychology and reveal our primal desires.
So, I did the only thing an avowed relationship geek could do.
I read the book myself cover to cover and decided to give my verdict here.
“The Hero Instinct”: what do I think?
The Hero Instinct is certainly a fascinating take on what drives men romantically.
I know firsthand how important it is for everyone (men and women) to live a meaningful life and dedicate themselves to the things and people they care about.
However, the way James Bauer took this a step further and applied it specifically to how men approach dating and relationships made me think.
Bauer argues that men are actually quite simplistic.The only thing men want is to feel like heroes. James argues that it goes back to our primitive nature.
After thinking about this for a while, I think there is a lot of truth to it. A man’s psyche feeds on things like ego, and in this relationship guide, Bauer shows women how to appeal to that ego.
I also see myself a lot in the way he describes men and what we need.
How Much Does It Cost?
His Secret Obsession costs $47, which is a reasonable price for a relationship guide. Additionally, there is a 60-day money back guarantee so you can try it risk-free.
How to wake up the hero?
His secret obsession makes a compelling case that men want to feel like heroes.
However, the best part of the book — and what sets it apart from other dating guides on the market — is that it actually describes step-by-step how to do it. This is a handy guide with simple, actionable strategies you can use to awaken any man’s hero.
While the first part of the book is dedicated to the hero instinct in men, the second part is a workbook that helps you apply these techniques in your own relationship.
You’ll learn the exact phrases you can say, the texts you can send, and the little requests you can use to trigger his hero instinct.
I won’t give them away, as it wouldn’t be fair to the author of the book, but what I can say is that they are practical and easy to implement.
They will help you:
Get the guy you want to hire, win his long-term love and devotion. If you’ve been through a breakup, rekindle his interest in you and get him to pursue you again.
Just to be clear: the book isn’t about silly mind games. No manipulation is involved. And you certainly don’t have to pretend to be someone you’re not.
Instead, it’s about showing a man what your needs are and letting him get to work and fulfilling them. By following the strategies outlined in this book, you are simply fulfilling his desire for meaning, respect, and to be a provider.
Your man will feel better about himself and he will see you in a whole new light – which will only lead to a better relationship between the two of you.
An interesting addition to the book is Rachel.
When you start reading His Secret Obsession, you will be introduced to her.
She was one of James Bauer’s favorite clients who was struggling in her relationship. Not wanting to appear so clingy, she held back. But there was radio silence as her man did not text or call back.
So Rachel contacted James Bauer, her relationship coach.
He gave her a 12-word formula for texting her boyfriend. Soon he returned to Rachel.
While James was happy with the result, he wasn’t happy that he only helped one woman. He knew he could help others who were going through a similar situation. It was there that he decided to write His Secret Obsession.
In the final section of the book, James Bauer reveals that exact 12-word formula that triggered the hero instinct in his boyfriend.
His Secret Obsession Review: My Experience
As a man, I am not James Bauer’s intended audience. But I think it contributes to the objectivity of my review.
Only a bit into the book, I started to resonate with the central theme: That men have a heroic instinct to be the protector.
We always want women to want us. We always want women to need us.
The book was extremely comprehensive with over 200 pages. However, it was quite easy to read. There were plenty of examples that kept me engaged, and it never strayed into too far territory where it “lost” me.
I read a lot of dating books and the best thing about His Secret Obsession was that I came across new ideas, tips and strategies that I had never read before.
Everything in the book is based on male psychology and practical examples.
James Bauer does not claim to be a dating “guru”. He simply describes simple truths based on male psychology and his own experience of working with women and men over the past 12 years.
The advantages of His Secret Obsession
As with any book, there were things I really liked and a few things that weren’t as good.
Let’s start with the good.
It’s the only dating book you’ll ever need
There is an awful lot of information contained in His Secret Obsession.
With over 200 pages, bonus material and a workbook, there’s plenty of information to sort through. For some it can be overwhelming, but for me it has never been a chore to read it all.
I learned a lot about how women should approach dating and relationships, and surprisingly, I also learned a lot about myself.
Advice is practical
Throughout the book, James Bauer talks about the things women need to do to trigger a man’s hero instinct. You will learn the exact phrases, texts and small queries you can use to do this.
It also uses concrete examples of women who have had incredibly positive results from adopting these methods.
Remember that James Bauer has worked with countless clients over the past 12 years and seen firsthand how his techniques work in real life.
Its methods are based on research
Every claim in the book is backed up. For example, whenever he talked about why a man wants to feel like a protector or that a “pretending” woman turned you on for a man, he backed it up with evidence.
Even though I sometimes thought that something probably wouldn’t work on me, the reasoning behind it was still solid.
It’s easy to download
Because His Secret Obsession is an eBook, you don’t have to wait to get it. You can start reading it immediately.
There is a money back guarantee
Not everyone will like every dating guide, but with this one, there’s no risk. With a 60 day money back guarantee, there really is nothing to lose.
The disadvantages of His Secret Obsession
Even though I enjoyed reading the book, it’s not perfect. Here are its drawbacks.
It’s only on eBook / audio
For some people, a real book is a paperback. But His Secret Obsession is only available through eBook and audiobook.
I read the eBook cover to cover, but also tried listening to the audiobook. The voice was soothing and confident, which is exactly what I would want someone to read his book.
For an eBook, the $47 price tag may raise some eyebrows. While it’s not a ton of money, it’s not a yogurt pot either. On the other hand, it contains more information than you will ever need.
James Bauer put a lot of work into this book and the accompanying resources make me understand the price.
My verdict: is his secret obsession worth it?
So after reading the book and writing my review of His Secret Obsession, do I think it’s worth it?
There are two things I look for when recommending a new book.
I want it to be thought provoking and to learn new thingsI want it to be VERY practical. There’s no point in gaining a new perspective on something if you can’t apply it to everyday life.
James Bauer delivers on both fronts.
Therefore, I think it is well worth the price. $47 isn’t a bargaining chip, but I haven’t found a dating book as comprehensive or insightful as this one.
His Secret Obsession contains the wisdom of a relationship expert with 12 years of industry experience, plus advice and strategies based on real-world human psychology.
I learned a lot about myself and the things I subconsciously desire as a man, and I can only imagine how helpful this will be for women too.
If you’re having trouble convincing a man to commit or want a better relationship, his secret obsession can be your secret weapon.
His Secret Obsession by James Bauer is the most comprehensive and insightful dating book I have read.
It contains the wisdom of a relationship expert with 12 years of industry experience, plus tips and strategies based on real-world human psychology. The Hero Instinct is a fascinating new take on what drives men romantically.
If you found value in this review, please consider clicking a link in this article (like the button above) to purchase the book. It helps keep the lights on for Hack Spirit and food on the table for all of our writers!